“She doesn’t strike me as one of those frou frou girls”

*Disclaimer: some of the conversations in this blog are not exact, I have recorded these as accurately as possible from my own memory and from secondhand reports from my mother*

My mom befriended a man at the grocery store named Frank. Well actually, I should say, he befriended her. I remember trips to the store with my mom where he would tease the both of us, but mostly my mom.

Eventually he found out I had a boyfriend because instead of grocery shopping alongside my mother, he saw Ryan and I grocery shopping together, hand in hand.

“Hi Laura, and who is this?”

“This is Ryan, my boyfriend.” Frank just hissed a bit under his breath and turned around.

When my mom saw Frank at the store after our encounter with him, he told her that he “met the boyfriend” and that he “didn’t like him.”

He continued to tease Ryan and I in the store when we’d visit. Eventually we stopped coming in, not because we were afraid of the grief he playfully gave Ryan, but because we got an apartment together and had a new grocery store to frequent instead.

However, around the time I moved in with Ryan, my mom was dealing with a health crisis. So, I would stop at Frank’s store to pickup groceries for her instead. Frank had been given a heads up about what was going on, and that he wouldn’t see her in the store for a bit.

When I picked up the groceries one day, he spotted me and asked “how is your mom?” I filled him in as I checked out, but he asked me to wait before I left. “I have something for her.”

I then saw him run over to the flower department, pay for a pot of flowers, and hand them to me. I thanked him, keeping myself together until I got to the parking lot, and cried. I am crying again as I recall this moment. Despite his relentless teasing, he is a very sweet man.

My mom has shared both bad and good news with him. And his sassy remarks never seem to fail to make us laugh. Lately she has reported some of the things he has said since she broke the news of our engagement.

“Good for her! I still don’t like him.”

She even updated Frank about the engagement dinner my future mother in law was hosting for us. Upon her next visit to the grocery after the dinner, Frank was standing in the middle of the store and spotted her.

He yelled down the grocery hall at her. “HOW WAS THE PARTY?” My mom gave a recap and told him how much she likes Ryan’s family.

But the best Frank-ism so far came when my mom told him about our wedding planning adventures.

“She’s not going to be one of those barn girls, is she?”

My mom laughed and said no. Frank said, “GOOD!”

She told him we have a dress shopping appointment soon.

“Oh, that’s nice, Frank reported. “She doesn’t strike me as one of those frou-frou girls.”

My mom agreed with him, and so do I. I’m very far away from being a “frou-frou girl.”

Frank cheers us up, he makes us laugh, and provides my mom and I with some funny stories to tell. He may have started as a goofy guy that kids around with us as we complete the routine task of food shopping, but now he has become a real friend. He is the kind of person you just won’t ever forget. In fact, the way he lives his life is not unlike the vows I will be making when I get married. He has literally been there for us in sickness, and in health.

Not being a “frou frou girl” is part of why I started this blog. I want to share what it’s like to be different than those who are all about that storybook, perfect wedding day, who want super poofy princess gowns, and who don’t lose sleep over the pressure to have eyelash extensions as part of their wedding makeup. There’s nothing wrong with being a “frou frou girl,” actually, but that’s what I have seen and heard to be the norm among brides. I want to be an example to other non-“frou frou” girls that being different is okay.

PS: I wish that this blog could be read aloud to everyone in his voice and accent, because it makes everything even better